Does your child seem unpredictable—one minute full of energy, the next overwhelmed and shutting down? Do they love noisy play one day, then cover their ears and hide the next? If your child’s behavior feels inconsistent, it may not be defiance or misbehavior. It could be a sign that they’re struggling with sensory regulation.
I am Lisa Tarr, I’m a Pediatric Physical Therapist as well as the CEO and Founder of First Steps Pediatric Therapy. Today, I’m here to talk to you about kids who show inconsistent behavior, how that can relate to their sensory processing and regulation skills, and how our therapists can help.
What Is Sensory Regulation & How Does It Work?
Sensory regulation is how the nervous system takes in, processes, and responds to information from the senses. It’s the body’s ability to stay calm, alert, and organized in different environments. When sensory regulation is working well, children can adjust their behavior to meet the demands of the moment. When it’s not, they may become overstimulated, shut down, or display inconsistent behavior.
In general, everyone’s sensory regulation fluctuates. Think about how you feel or act when you’re hungry and tired versus when you’re rested and well fed. The same fluctuation happens for our kids, but they may not be able to tell us what’s going on.
For example, a child might be distracted by how their socks feel or how tight their shoes are—while also trying to concentrate in a noisy classroom. They may be overwhelmed by the sound of another student tapping a pencil and unable to focus on the teacher. These layered sensory inputs can be exhausting to manage.
Behaviors of Sensory Seekers vs. Sensory Avoiders
In previous blog posts, we’ve talked about what a sensory seeker is and what a sensory avoider is. But here is a brief recap.
Sensory seekers crave input. They often:
- Run, jump, and crash into things
- Love noisy environments and active play
- Seem to have endless energy
Sensory avoiders are easily overwhelmed. They often:
- Dislike noise, bright lights, or messy play
- Avoid new or unpredictable situations
- Prefer calm, controlled environments
Your Child Could Be Both a Sensory Seeker and Avoider
If your child doesn’t seem to fit completely in the “seeker” or “avoider” categories, but they still show some of the unwanted behaviors associated with those terms, it’s most likely that your child is both a sensory seeker and an avoider.
They might seek sensory input in one moment and avoid it in another. This mix can lead to behaviors that feel unpredictable or inconsistent, which can be frustrating for you as a parent. That’s what we want to help you understand today.
Why Behavior Can Change from Moment to Moment
Children with mixed sensory profiles may respond very differently to the same activity depending on the time, place, and circumstances. One day they may love an activity; another day they might refuse it. Their reactions might vary depending on how tired, hungry, or emotionally drained they are. And so you can have a child that can be overstimulated or under-stimulated by the same activity at very different times.
For example, one day you take your kid to the park and they’re ramping up and getting more and more energy. Then another day, you take them to the same park, and it triggers them somehow, and they end up in “fight or flight” mode. This may seem inconsistent, but for a child who has both seeking and avoiding behaviors, it can be a lot simpler to explain than you may think.
When your kids are tired or stressed, when they’re not feeling well or they didn’t sleep well, those can all impact how they regulate their body and their emotions. They’re trying to constantly regulate their own body to keep up with current activities. This is why it’s important to remember that regulation isn’t just about behavior, it’s about what’s happening inside their brain and body.
Tips to Support Sensory Seekers and Avoiders at Home
Here are some tips you can use at home to help support your child when they’re seeking or avoiding sensory input:
Give Sensory Seekers Movement Breaks
If your child is a sensory seeker that likes to move a lot, they may need movement breaks to help them regulate. For example, before sitting still for family photos (which can be long and boring), allow them to run or jump around for a few minutes. Giving them a chance to release their energy helps them stay focused and calm.
Give Sensory Avoiders a Schedule or a “Heads Up” on New Tasks
For the kids that are sensory avoiders who don’t like a lot of change, you can create a schedule to give them more predictability for daily tasks. If they’re still young and can’t read yet, it can be a visual schedule with pictures they can understand more easily.
Or, if you have to do something your child doesn’t like (such as trimming their nails), you can prompt them on what’s going to happen and give them time to get used to the idea. You want to introduce new activities slowly to give them the ability to plan and know what’s next because then you’ll have fewer meltdowns.
Try to Balance Your Child’s Sensory Input
Many kids are both seekers and avoiders. The key is to find balance—offering enough stimulation to keep them engaged while also helping them feel safe and in control. Simple strategies like offering them chewing gum during a long, boring car ride can help tremendously.
Give Your Child Choices
We all like to have choice in what we do, so providing choices to our kids is also a really great opportunity to allow them to be involved in their care. You can just ask, “Would you like the bubble gum toothpaste or the watermelon toothpaste? Do you want me to brush your teeth, or do you want to brush your teeth?”
Giving those different options helps them feel like they have a little control over what’s happening in their environment. And along with that, you should give them a little bit of time to do the task on their own. Don’t force them to do it.
Acknowledge Their Efforts
Finally, show your child a little empathy when they have to do something difficult or dysregulating. It’s as simple as saying, “Hey, I know that this is really hard, but we do need to do this, and you’re doing a great job.”
Reach Out to First Steps for Expert Support
If this resonates with you, we provide pediatric occupational and physical therapy here at First Steps. We also specialize in sensory motor skills as well as sensory regulation. Call us at (700) 900-7432 for more information or to schedule an evaluation for your child today.
